When I say that my family is not normal it's because it's true.

Mum and I woke at some ungoodly hour, we crawled to the kitchen too tired to say "hi" and first thing she put John Barrowman CD on. I moaned.

her: "oh come on! At this time in the morning the only ok thing is John"

me: "Just because John is ok even in a sandwich, covered in majo"

several seconds passed in silence, then out of the blue:

her: "I think I'll have him covered in chocolate, instead. You know, it's breakfast..."

I sputtered tea all over the table.