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[personal profile] cmorgana_bu
No matter how many times I'll listen to this song, I'll never stop thinking that it's perfect for Remus and Sirius (and it will never, ever, stop to be depressing)

Goodbye my lover by James Blunt

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

I mean, Remus knows Sirius perfectly and they've shared everything. They grew up togheter, changed their lives. Damn, probably Remus found out how to really hate because of Sirius, thinking that he betrayed and killed their best friends! But then they were back togheter, with their doubts, with an almost-too-heavy past...and there were new fears, and tears, and a scarred Sirius, and a slightly less scarred Remus. And yet there they were, togheter. (and yep, Remus would be the father of his child, because Sirius is the only father Harry has left, so... :P)

And I can't get this image out of my mind, of Remus alone in bed, with Sirius gone, lost behind that damn veil, holding a hand that's no longer there, remembering the feeling of Sirius's rough fingers right against his..I can't erase this image of Remus crying silent tears, mourning for a lover and a friend, for everything both good and bad that he ever knew, for the last bound with his past. And he'll continue fighting, he'll keep going on, protecting people, but he's hollow, he feels like something is really missing, a milion time worse than when he thought Sirius had betrayed them, because even then he didn't totally lose hope, even back then, when Sirius was in Azkaban, he knew deep down that things weren't like that, that his lover and best friend, the man that changed his life, wasn't really gone. That Sirius was still there and that if there was a truth to be found Remus knew he would do it one day. But not now, Now Sirius is gone for good and all Remus has are an hollow chest and a hand that's no longer there.

Now you can see why this song breaks my heart every time XD
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August 2012

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